The Street Window

The Street Window
by Franz Kafka
(translated from german by Willa and Edwin Muir)

Whoever leads a solitary life and yet now and then wants to attach himself somehere, whoever, according to changes in the time of day, the weather, the state of business and the like, suddenly wishes to see any arm at all to which he might cling--he will not be able to manage for long without a window looking on to the street. And if he is in the mood of not desiring anything and only goes to his window sill a tired man, with eyes turning from his public to heaven and back again, not wanting to look out and having thrown his head up a little, even then the horses below will draw him down into their train of wagons and tumult, and so at last into the human harmony.

---

Many a time in my life, my thoughts had wandered and taken me back to this little passage by Kafka. Just sharing some current thoughts. Not feeling too great I guess.

Read about how Max Brod (Kafka's lifelong friend) betrayed Kafka's wish to destroy his unprinted manuscripts after his death. He edited and published the materials instead. Brod had admired Kafka's work and wanted to make them known to others, but in doing so, defied Kafka's death-wish. That also became one of the main themes in Milan Kundera's book- Testaments Betrayed.

It is often the best-intentioned and most-passionate proponent that betrays. It is ironic but when we hold certain ideals/things/persons too dearly, we tend to unknowingly (or knowingly) gradually incapacitate the very-qualities we valued and loved in them. Mainly, it is not easy to discern between good and harm when you become too passionate with something. The infatuation process usually involves a slow, controlled suffocation of the subject. Shrug. Now, I will almost feel guilty whenever I commit or throw myself to doing anything too passionately. Haha. Anyway, something to think about.

Will be back to blog some, in the evening, perhaps.

A secret vice

"...they all feed the great hype beasts."
-Haemish from Waterthread.org

Blame it on short attention span. I was alternating between reading an article (The Aberrant Blue Sky) on Waterthread.org and typing this. An interesting article at that. Mainly, it talked about journalism (specifically, gaming journalism), the fact that true objectivity in these types of journalism is impossible and the 'values' of having rant sites.

I will like to take this opportunity to assure patrons visiting here that this blog is also nothing more than a rant site. We feed the hype beasts here on a regular basis and sometimes even after midnight. Every "news I bring to you here is filtered through my cracked lenses and the only constant is my love of well-done games" and other interests that include films and music. Then perhaps, there is also the disconcerting obsession with my own thoughts and speaking these thoughts.

Yet another worrying indulgence may be my passion for the trivia- the footnotes in fine print, appendixes, backstories and general business that no one really cared about. I am quite a nosy individual, though I generally stay away from big current news. Choosing to take interest in little unknown information or the most obvious facts. A most obvious hazard caused by this habit is that I am very easily distracted. I should think that if I were to drive a car, my passengers would quiver in fear when it hit them that I could not focus on the road ahead of me for a solid 3 minutes. Some friends commented that I had frequently snapped into a dazed, day-dreaming state wherever I go.

While waiting to catch the Olympics basketball or badminton matches on tv earlier, I stumbled on the gymnastics finals. The commentator told little facts about this russian female gymnast, Yelena Zamolodchikova while she was on the floor exercise apparatus. Apparently, she is a pretty superstitious person who carries a luck charm in the form of a Winnie the Pooh toy wherever she goes. Her father had been involved in the Chernobyl clean-up and had passed away because of cancer.

What can you make of that little trivia? I figured each of these athletes has a similar interesting backstory, each of them a legend in their own country. Some trivias open up new perspectives on things. Those without intrinsic values can be cool too. I had come to know another interesting aspect about trivias- For obvious reasons or not, it may be that some trivial information were not meant to be looked too deeply into, or dissected and analysed.

I found, from some notes, this thing Ben Okri wrote in one of his books. (I had not kept a reference of which book it was from)

"If you look too deeply, everything breaks your heart."
-Ben Okri

I am reminded of this story about a tadpole too. A tadpole once lived in a small pond where he longed to be an adult frog so he could see the better part of the world. Emerging from the pond, the tadpole-turned-teenage-frog hopped happily away from the confines of the pond. A fascinating world awaited him, that is until he came upon a road and got promptly squashed by a 3-tonne truck.

Ok, I made up that story. I will end this with something else I found in the notes.

This is Just to Say (1934)
by William Carlos Williams (1883-1963)

I have eaten
the plums
that were in
the icebox
and which
you were probably
saving
for breakfast

Forgive me
they were delicious
so sweet
and so cold

Banana Mania

The word is out. I am sure you have all heard about him. Spawned from the raging inferno (or 'wet queues') that is the infamous singing contest show- Singapore Idol, he is Singapore's very own superhero- Banana Man aka Melon Man aka Saikomelon. I mentioned "Singapore" because I found out there was an Original Banana Man. Still, this Melon Dude is the coolest thing to hit local tv since... I can't think of anything better on local tv. There is not a cooler banana since Banana Yoshimoto or Bananas in Pyjamas. He is greater than the William Hungs or Clay Aikens.

A Flash (done by NCH/ref from sganime.com forum) had been made for him. Here's an alternative site to download the flash.

I also found the Original Banana Phone Song by Raffi (a Canadian entertainer). Do check it out. Pretty good song actually.

Finally, an Exclusive- From the words of the man himself. (He revealed that he did not meet the judges at all and that he is supposed to be a watermelon)

"Thank you all for the support everyone. I'm really honored.

CloudStrife, the mask was homemade by my mother. Cannot buy outside one.

wira, it's true, I never did see the judges. The judges were probably shown my audition clip, and their reactions recorded. Then they just blended it with my audition video. >_< If you look carefully, you notice you'll NEVER see me and the judges in the same 1 shot."
-Banana Man (Saikomelon) on gamersquare.com forum

[Random Fact: I'm supposed to be a watermelon. But I guess everyone thinks I'm a BananaMan instead probably because my banana hairdo stands out more, along with my bananaphone song. Oh whatever. Cheers! :P]
-Banana Man's Friendster's description

The Controversy- Here is an observation by Agagooga from Balderdash blog-

This Gamersquare post reveals that the judges only judged contestants who'd made it through a first round of screening by "MediaCorp TV Channel 5 executives and music professionals". Which begs the question of how *some* people got through. Maybe they were so bad that the executives and music professionals let them through just so the real judges could skewer them for entertainment."
-Agagooga (Balderdash blog)

That is pretty sick if you think about it.

Also, I have seen pictures revealing the true identity of Banana Man posted on the internet. I appeal to these folks and everyone else to keep our superhero's identity a secret.

Now I thought, how cool it will be if the entire audience wear Banana Masks to the grand final of Singapore Idol. The day of reckoning and you get an audience-full of Banana Men. How cool will that be? Maybe the judges can don Banana Suits on that day too.

So, if you ever need a hero, you know who to call. And what phone to use. Riiiinng Riiiinng Riiiinng... Banana Phone!

To Priscilla Tolkien

[354] To Priscilla Tolkien
(Written from the house of Dr. Denis Tolhurst, four days before Tolkien died at the age of eighty-one)

Wed Aug 29th 1973 at 22, Little Forest Rd, Bournemouth

... My dearest love to you,
      Daddy.

It is stuffy, sticky and rainy here at present- but forecasts are more favourable.

-From Letters of JRRT, Chris Tolkien (Editor), Humphrey Carpenter

---

Stuffy. Dreadful night.
You have avoided a life of dread.
Truly, you deserved better.
Why do I always feel I will bring doom to the next person I resolved to be close with?
I deserve no one.
Maybe two Cheer Chen's cds.
Forecasts will be more favourable?

One hell of a country

So said Leslie Low of defunct local band, Humpback Oak, in their album SideASideB. You can take it both ways, I guess.

The family watched the Parade on tv earlier. A rehash of more or less the same stuff every year. You could, if you wished, try to squint a lil to look past the boring displays, to find those minute details that evoked a sense of "Hey, like it or not, we are in the same boat/shit together." (Or some would refer to as national identity or the stronger word- patriotism.)

More than anything, National Day brought home the fact that we live on a tiny island. We watched the A4's and F16's did their fly-bys past the stadium on tv, the sound from the tv superimposed with the actual booms and roars of these planes as they flew by above our apartment. The fireworks and cannon-salutes sounded as though they were fired not so far away from our backyard. After so many NDPs, mum and sis were still tempted to run to the kitchen to try to catch a glimpse of fighter-jets, fireworks and whatnot. For a moment, the sudden amplification of sound seemed to transport them to a different time and space. I had to break the reality to them that we live on the second storey- That they would merely stare into concrete or the neighbouring Apartment-Block-50 if they ran to the kitchen's window.

I thought to myself- Given that I was born in a different time and space, and had the option to choose my place of residence, I would likely decide to settle on a tiny island, close to the sea, off some peninsula again, as opposed to some smacked-centre region on a huge land mass or continent.


House of Flying Daggers

Watched House of Flying Daggers earlier too. I had not disliked any Zhang Yimou's films. I pretty much enjoyed this one as well. But it somewhat pales in comparison to the best films he made. My favourite films done by him are To Live and Not One Less.

The chase scenes in the woods were reminiscent of Kurosawa's blazing, breath-taking tracking shots. The colours (harsh snow-white against shades of green) used were luscious as they had been in the last movie, Hero. The plot-twist at the end landed a rather thought-provoking and cool closure for the film. Relationships between the main characters did not seemed to have been established very well though. Parts of the film and some of Andy Lau's lines made it seemed like a rerun of Infernal Affairs. Where I watched the show, I was not sure why but part of the audience would laugh at the mere sight of Andy Lau. The fight-scene in the bamboo-forest harked back to Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon as well. I was sure most audience (including myself) could not help but felt the correlation with these other films because it was inevitable we would carry with us previous movie experiences to this one or any other.

It has to be said that Zhang Yimou is a die-hard romantic. The kind that suscribes to the old-school (shakespearean) adage that reads:

The greatest romance is the death of a romance.

Expect one or more parties involved in a love-affair in his films to die or part ways.

Final thoughts. My opinion is that HoFD is a simple, romantic and thoughtful film. If anything, the crucial ending made it more meaningful. A contemplation on a classic love triangle- told the relationship of 3 individuals tied in a fragile deadlock, whereby they each loved and valued one another. Main fault found with the film is that in place of the lengthy action/dance sequence, more could have been done to establish the relationship of the 3 protaganists.

Without a doubt though, Zhang Yimou is one of the greatest directors around.

The Gateway to Hell is Open

For anyone not in the know: I am a gaming-freak and today is Doom3 Day. That's quite an evil combination. Muahahaha. Amazing how a person at my age still giggles (like a little girl) in anticipation of the postman, with the game-box, to arrive at my door. After that, I can only pray that my 5 yrs old comp will be able to run the game at all. Feels like those Wing-Commander Days all over again.


(Taken by Hardwarezone.com forumer Pinta)

Bloghead

I am hooked on reading blogs done by folks I don't know. Here's a couple I'll like to show you. With folks like these bloggers and The Dude around, it (in a small way) reinforces the fact that the world is good. hurhur.

Whetstone

Spatula Forum

BoingBoing

THE HULK blogs too.

On another note, I finally figured out why I loved the defunct band Pavement.

Of Moulds and Men

Last night, mum shifted the tv with the cabinet into her room. I never watched any tv in my room so the box had stood there, served nothing more than an unsightly prop, since ages unknown. The space left behind by the cabinet exposed a huge dusty bag of tapes. Old video tapes, that is. (To my friends:) They are Not porn tapes. Unlike porn, these stuff are a little harder to find. They are my collection of cheap, dubbed tapes of classic films, quite a few of them foreign stuff. My preciousssss nonetheless and they are moulding.

I may have to admit to some sort of cheap criminal misdemeanor here. Several years ago, a friend and I would go to this video-rental shop, DnO, at Tanglin Shopping Center on a weekly basis to rent movies to watch. We usually saved up enough cash and tried to rent about 4 per week. Back then, this was the only place you could find to rent good ol' movies and stuff. LDs were just starting to get popular and VCDs were unheard of. Tapes were the common deal. I still vaguely remember the owner of DnO- Mr Odell. He passed away in recent years and his death was briefly mentioned in an article by Ong Sor Chin in the papers. He would often look somewhat stern or serious. But you would think he was pretty cool after you got to know him. Spoke good cantonese too. Usually, we wanted to watch the tapes more than once so we got into the habit of dubbing most of the tapes we rented. I know, it sounds pretty 'cheap'. Eventually, we had about 100 of these tapes. They ran from classic Westerns, black and whites to French fare and asian Jap, Taiwanese, even Indian movies.

Now, the stuff I have are moulding. I have no idea what to do with them. I wonder how my friend's tapes are doing. The fungi is eating away at the tapes as we speak. That had me thinking about moulds, fungi, maggots, bacterias and similar entities. I thought 'fungi-and-friends' are not such a bad thing after all. These creatures are nature's way of telling you to, "Pack up, shift out. Time to move on.". These guys clean up after you are done with your dirty business of living. They are like hotel room-attendants clearing your room, after you checked out, to get ready for the next guests. They do not really care who you are or what business you had. Nice attitude, come to think of it. Not trying to instigate some elitist Zen-like ideals about the impermanence of things here but it is nice to be able to just 'move on' from everything else (such as when you are sick of a place). Well, I decided to dump the tapes of course.

Just realised, this incidently had been another topic mildly to do with Death or departure of some sort. Perhaps, I should put up some sunny, fun-shine shit in the future. Ha Ha.

Chicken blows

Listened to a load of GBV albums the last couple days. Just realised I had subconsciously hummed the tune of Chicken Blows (a GBV song) while I was bathing earlier. The tune still swirls in my head now. The song contains some crazy ass lyrics, complete with heavy-snoring sound effects. Like most GBV songs, it is fairly catchy. Used to be helluv fun to listen to this crap on an empty bus when travelling home from school/work. Can't go back to the old days anymore, especially after The Invasion. And I have wondered who came up with the brilliant idea of 'force-feeding' innocent commuters on a bus with TV programmes+screeching static they may or may not want to view/listen. The least they could do is make a section of the bus TV-free or something. Here's to TV-free zone on buses!

Personality Tests are a big thing these days. I came across at least 2 such tests today: "How much of a devil are you?" and "The Sexy Test". So I decided to devise a sexy test of my own. Don't worry, you don't have to answer 200 questions for this one.

Basically you have only to answer one question... 
for The "Who gets a cookie from Fraggle?" Personality Test!


The Dude and The Stranger (The Big Lebowski)

Question: What do you think of the film "The Big Lebowski" (by the Coen Brothers)?

1. I have seen it. I enjoy it.


2. I have seen it. It sucks.


3. I have seen it. I love it- yeah, The Big LempBiskit.


4. I have not seen it. But it sounds interesting enough.


5. I have not seen it. But I still think it sucks.

Now for the results... (drumroll)
Everyone with answers (1) and (4) gets A Cookie from Fraggle!

Now this story I'm about to unfold took place back in the early nineties-- just about the time of our conflict with Sad'm and the Eye-rackies. I only mention it 'cause some-times there's a man--I won't say a hee-ro, 'cause what's a hee-ro?--but sometimes there's a man... And I'm talkin' about the Dude here-- sometimes there's a man who, well, he's the man for his time'n place, he fits right in there--and that's the Dude, in Los Angeles.
-The Stranger (The Big Lebowski)

Sometimes (like once in a lifetime), there comes a film... that totally blows you away. And I'm talkin' about The Big Lebowski here-- it is a movie that you can use as a yardstick to gauge how well you 'connect' with another person. This is one such film. It sounds crazy to use a film to try to know the personality of a person but it is not. Take it from The Dude. :o)

Gotta run, for now.

The day the Voices died

Guided By Voices

The Day The Voices Died. Yet again, I was late to find out about this one. The indies band, Guided By Voices, is moving on to greener pastures. Their final album, Half Smiles of the Decomposed, will be released on Aug 24.
 
There are certain constants in the life of a kid who grew up listening to the indies. One of those was the knowledge that bands such as Sonic Youth and Guided By Voices (led by veteran rockers Kim Gordon and Robert Pollard) were always around to mete out indies-rock justice somewhere, be it in a studio, garage or on-stage. This is music I grew up with. I discovered GBV back in 1991, when I read about the album Bee Thousand in a local magazine Big O.

You are not supposed to try to interpret the lyrics in a GBV song.  At times though, parts of the lyrics 'pop out' to shed light and convey relevant emotions on a particular subject you are dealing with. On this occasion, it was some spoken words in the final track of Alien Lanes, that I had been listening to while writing this.
 

Alright (R. Pollard)

Alright
Alright
Alright
Alright
for our lives to be once again
like it once was
in the ice age, in a kingdom long ago;
without songs, without hope, without meaning,
and therefore
always having the same effect
without ever knowing why

It will be alright I guess. Here's A Salty Salute to Bob and gang.

MP3 of a new song- The Best of Jill Hives

Btw, David Bazan and Pedro The Lion just released a new album, Achilles Heel. You can listen to the whole album here.

Would you like a cup of tea?

"When the first living thing existed, I was there, waiting. When the last living thing dies, my job will be finished.
I'll put the chairs on the tables, turn out the lights and lock the universe behind me when I leave."
-Death

-Death of the Endless. Sandman series by Neil Gaiman,
Mike Drigenberg. copyright DC comics

FT's visit here prompted me to put up this cool pic I've stored in my hard-drive for centuries. I think I was influenced by some crazy friends. Like them, I often imagine folks around me to be certain characters from books or tv. That's how I remember them too. Brenda is Droopy Dog. Alien is an Alien. Georgene is Lane from Gilmore Girls. And FT happened to remind me of Death. *hurhur* Mainly I want to try putting up images here too. So, this is Death from the Neil Gaiman's Sandman series, one of my favourite comic series. She is cool. She carries an Ankh around her neck- the egyptian symbol for Life. Here's a brief Biography.

An Angel at my table

It was a Picture Night many years ago, that I chanced upon this gem of a film- "An Angel at my table", directed by Jane Campion. It told the story of another New Zealander, a writer named Janet Frame. Fascinated by the film, I was eager to find out more about its subject. I picked up a couple of books she wrote, Owls Do Cry and Faces in the Water. I soon found out she really had big fuzzy hair, as depicted in the film.

A search on Google returned several sites that described her as a 'reclusive writer'. I felt mildly amused reading these descriptions. Janet Frame's books are intensely personal and often, autobiographical. Though she seeked solitude, here is someone who shared with us her life experiences, who 'poured' her thoughts into accessible words, into books that we can readily pick up to read. Yet, she came across as being 'inaccessible' or 'withdrawn from society'.

Janet Frame passed away on 29 January 2004. Didn't get the news till about a couple months ago. I will remember her as the writer with big fuzzy hair.

It is easy to dismiss someone as 'insane', it is much harder to try to understand a person.
 
 

Number One

Sausage Day, Apple pie Day, Visiting Day, Operation Day.
Every Day.
And there was Picture Night.
-p.115, Pt.2, Chap VIII, Janet Frame- Faces In The Water

Always loved Picture Night.

The above is a random quote picked from a book I was reading. Owls Do Cry, the blog's title, is the title of another book the same author wrote.

Anyway, stay tuned.