If

A friend posted this tube on fb. A young Dennis Hopper reading the poem If by Rudyard Kipling.



If

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!

r.i.p. Mr. Hopper.

Murder In The 40th Degree

Ever had this feeling- when you woke up, you got a sensation that every single thing you believed in in this world had been wrong? A chill that hits the spine. Your understanding and ideals of what this world should have been. Your core belief that underlying all that is Humanity, underneath this facade, goodness exhumed. What if all of it is wrong? Nothing good had resulted from human existence. Why should we matter? Everyone seemed lost. You are part of a huge lost crowd.

Maybe after all this is done, all we can do is stick a huge signpost that reads, "We were here. (and we've fucked it up)" And someone or something may chance on this signpost in the far future and thinks, "Hey, that's cool."

Maybe this weather and heat is getting to me. :) No doubt about it- We're killing Earth. I have had a hand in it; I am a murder accomplice.

Cauterize The Tears

Don't know why anyone'd care, but I think it's simple really- to understand me- is to understand what Pavement means to me. :)







On First Listen

Spinning Platters

年年

年年

儿时的玩伴 一个个离散
记忆中道路似乎也变窄
稻浪正枯萎 我持续醒醒睡
等不来了 那美好故事已完结
是我们改变了吗
是我们改变了呀
是我们改变了还是时间哪
是我们改变了吗
是我们改变了呀
是我们改变了还是时间哪
悄悄将一切移动啦
从树下到庙前 从古屋到山野
从水田过乡间 江湖在哪边
稻浪正枯萎 我持续醒醒睡
岁岁年年 朝生暮死人间
是我们改变了吗
是我们改变了呀
是我们改变了还是时间哪
是我们改变了吗
是我们沉默了呀
是我们沉默了或是时间哪
悄悄将一切移动啦

Memories of childhood. The song echoes an innocence and sincerity similar to the song 簡單 from their first album. It probed on the changes that had happened to the band since they released their first album, a long 4 years ago. A reshuffling of band members because a couple of the members had to leave the band due to national service commitments. Warm-hearted and sincere.

熊寶貝樂團

世界旋轉不停 , 我還留在原地


簡單


环岛旅行


和平之城


Secret Place


過境


螢火


積雨雲（橙草）


沒有十二月的城市


消失的海岸線


存在論

I could go on and on. :) 餅乾! Love this band!

Fuwa Fuwa Time

"Fuwa fuwa" translates to "light and fluffy" in jap. (I hope)


I cannot like a person more than I like this World.
I cannot like a person more than I like Humanity.
I cannot like a person more than I like all my Friends.
I cannot like myself more than I like another person.

Can the reverse be true for all of the above?

In retrospect, perhaps we have to love ourselves, in order to learn to love another, our friends, humanity and this world.

Can I like a person more than I like this World?


This is Fuwa-fuwa time if you watch the anime K-ON! :)

(Yui on lead vocals)


(Mio-chan on lead)

Pavement Reunion

Haven't updated in awhile.

Just found this earlier-

Holy Shit: Pavement Reunion

Wow. Just wow.

Lives That Cannot Be Replayed

Taken from jap drama Searchin' for my Polestar (pretty bad translation but you get the gist)-

"Why do people keep missing each other?
Why can't we be more understanding?
People face each other everyday.
And we can really love someone.
And time is that short.
In our lives that cannot be replayed.
Why is time wasted on separations, misunderstandings and mistakes?
Everyone knows it's happiness to be with someone you love."


Answers can't be found at times.

Find The River R.E.M.

Get well, Daw Aung Sang Suu Kyi.


Find The River - R.E.M.

Find The River

Hey now, little speedyhead,
The read on the speedmeter says
You have to go to task in the city
Where people drown and people serve.
Don't be shy. Your just deserve
Is only just light years to go.

Me, my thoughts are flower strewn
Ocean storm, bayberry moon.
I have got to leave to find my way.
Watch the road and memorize
This life that pass before my eyes.
Nothing is going my way.

The ocean is the river's goal,
A need to leave the water knows
We're closer now than light years to go.

I have got to find the river,
Bergamot and vetiver
Run through my head and fall away.
Leave the road and memorize
This life that pass before my eyes.
Nothing is going my way.

There's no one left to take the lead,
But I tell you and you can see
We're closer now than light years to go.
Pick up here and chase the ride.
The river empties to the tide.
Fall into the ocean.

The river to the ocean goes,
A fortune for the undertow.
None of this is going my way.
There is nothing left to throw
Of Ginger, lemon, indigo,
Coriander stem and rose of hay.
Strength and courage overrides
The privileged and weary eyes
Of river poet search naivete.
Pick up here and chase the ride.
The river empties to the tide.
All of this is coming your way.

World Leader Pretend

I sit at my table and wage war on myself
It seems like it's all, it's all for nothing
I know the barricades, and
I know the mortar in the wall breaks
I recognize the weapons, I used them well

This is my mistake. Let me make it good
I raised the wall and I will be the one to knock it down

I've a rich understanding of my finest defenses
I proclaim that claims are left unstated,
I demand a rematch
I decree a stalemate
I divine my deeper motives
I recognize the weapons
I've practiced them well. I fitted them myself

(chorus)
It's amazing what devices you can sympathize, empathize
This is my mistake. Let me make it good
I raised the wall and I will be the one to knock it down

Reach out for me and hold me tight. Hold that memory
Let my machine talk to me, let my machine talk to me

This is my world
And I am world leader pretend
This is my life
And this is my time
I have been given the freedom
To do as I see fit
It's high time I've razed the walls
That I've constructed

(repeat chorus)

You fill in the mortar. You fill in the harmony
You fill in the mortar. I raised the wall
And I'm the only one
I will be the one to knock it down


Incidentally, my 100th post.

Decoding Loneliness

Ever felt this incredible sense of loneliness overpowering you suddenly, even though you're in a crowded place with people around you whom you know? Somehow, you felt that not one of them is on the same frequency of thought with you, for what could be that single moment in time. A moment of devouring Loneliness, whereby you question your own existence. No one understands you.

That may be why I'd felt the opposite too when I was in a dark cinema with strangers around me. Everyone were focused on the same thoughts depicted by the film. When it was a sentimental film, the emotions seemed to be amplified through everyone. You'd feel a tidal wave of emotions. Like you were part of something, a camaraderie, even though everyone around were mere figures in the dark.

All of a sudden I feel like watching Krystof Kieslowski's Three Colours again. :)

Find

Sonic Youth 1/5/1985 Gila Monster Jamboree, Mojave Desert


Brother James

Kill Your Idols

Brave Men Run

Death Valley '69

I Love Her All

I'm Insane

Flower

Burning Spear

Searching For A Star

"Look to the stars when you get lost." - Something the j-drama Searchin' For My Polestar taught me.

Polaris will always lead you to your north. Then maybe have a look at Orion, the hunter, ever strong wielding his bow. After that, throw a glance at Betelgeuse, a prominent star in Orion- a star near the end of it's life.

It is wonderful someone came up with this simple graphic website to teach us about these stars and constellations-

http://www.quietbay.net/Science/astronomy/nightsky/

Sad

This song was playing on my ipod. Sonic Youth - I love you golden blue.



:(

Trying To Live

What is Life? Will we ever know the significance of words such as Life, Love and God? That is why I hate it when the phrase "Get a life" is coined.

Isn't everyone trying to live? And "getting at life"?

Will a person know more about living than another? Only someone who is pretencious and self-righteous will tell another to "get a life". More accurately, Life isn't easy to "get at"; to understand. If you think you've known all about Life, then perhaps you're merely indulged in living in your own little perfect pocket of a world and have not looked hard enough into what it is. But who is to know? Maybe you really had seen it all, all that is Life. But you should at least have accumulated a decent amount of experiences to proclaim that i.e. you're old enough.

Perhaps it is wise to think twice before telling a person how to live their life or to "get a life".

Life isn't the same for all of us. For most, it's not all that fun and cheery. Some of us lived through 80% of shit to get to the 20% that is worth living. The intrinsic value of important things in Life varies for everyone too. Wealth may mean more to some than to others. When we add up all the variables, it is simply impossible to measure Life.

How do we "get a life" when we don't really know what Life is, when there is no way to measure it?

In the end, we're all merely trying to live in our own ways.

The Hours (2002)

Been looking for the dvd of this movie. Wanted to watch it again.


Leonard: Virginia (Woolf) we must go back home now. Nelly is cooking dinner. She has already had such a difficult day. It is our obligation to eat Nelly's dinner.
Virginia: There is no such obligation. No such obligation exists.
Leonard: Virginia, you have a obligation to your own sanity!
Virginia: I have endured this custody. Endured this imprisonment.
Leonard (with contempt): Oh Virginia!
Virginia (disdainfully): I am attended by doctors. Everywhere. I am attended by doctors, who inform me of my own interests.
Leonard: They know your interests.
Virginia: They do not. They do not speak for my interests.
Leonard: Virginia I can, I can see it must be hard for a women of your...
Virginia : Of my what?
Leonard: of your, your...
Virginia:(angry) of my what exactly?
Leonard: of your talents to see that she may not be the best judge of her own condition.
Virginia: But who then is a better judge?
Leonard (raised voice/ exasperation): You have a history...you have a history of confinement. We brought you to Richmond because you have a history of fits, moods, blackouts, hearing voices. We brought you here to save you from the irrevocable damage you intended upon yourself. You have tried to kill yourself twice. I live daily with that threat. I set up the press,... we set up the printing press not just for itself, not just purely for itself but so that you might have a ready source of absorption and a remedy.
Virginia: Like needlework!
Leonard (shouting out of hurt): It was done for you! It was done for your betterment. It was done out of love! If I didn't know you better I'd call this ingratitude.
Virginia (somber): I'm ungrateful. You call me ungrateful . My life has been stolen from me. I am living in a town I don't wish to live in. I am living a life I have no wish to live. How did this happen? It is time for us to move back to London. I miss London. I miss London life.
Leonard: This is not you speaking Virginia. This is an aspect of your illness
Virginia (pleading): Its me! It is me!
Leonard (both are speaking at the same time): No
Virginia (angry): It is mine and mine alone!
Leonard (patient): No, it is the voice that you hear
Virginia (sorrow/raised voice): No it is not. It is mine. I am dying in this town.
Leonard: If you were thinking clearly Virginia you will remember it was London that brought you down.
Virginia: If I were thinking clearly... If I were thinking clearly...
Leonard (whispers/in a barely audible voice): We brought you to Richmond to give you peace?
Virginia: If I were thinking clearly Leonard, I would tell you that I wrestle alone in the dark, in the deep dark and only I can know, only I can understand my own condition. You live with the threat; you tell me, you live with the threat of my extinction. Leonard, I live with it too. This is my right; it is the right of every human being. I choose not the suffocating anesthetic of the suburbs, but the violent jolt of the Capital, that is my choice. The meanest patient, yes, even the very lowest is allowed some say in the matter of her own prescription. Thereby she defines her humanity. I wish, for your sake, Leonard, I could be happy in this quietness but if it is a choice between Richmond and death, I choose death.
Leonard (on the brink of tears): Very well, London then. We go back to London then.

Samejima Mamimi

FLCL


The Pillows - Ride on Shooting Star

Comprehension

I don't understand all of it. I may never understand any of it. And thus, I'm afraid. Many secrets of the heart. We're born unto this world with the ability to seek knowledge and to try to understand our surroundings. Yet there will be secrets forever hidden from our understanding in our lifetime. What can we do? Pretend that nothing is wrong and that full or even partial understanding is not important. To live with this pretence our whole lives? To ignore? That sometimes not knowing is a bliss? That all memories and knowledge are meant to be short-lived, fade away with age?

We are thus all pretencious beings. Pretend that full understanding is not important, that we are not equipped to understand all of it. To pretend to think that desire for full knowledge is equivalent to that of desire for power- it will corrupt us. But how will we know it will corrupt if we don't understand half of it? Our hearts tell us so.

Follow our hearts, they say, not only our brains. If our hearts can think, can we channel these thoughts? Are things made more complicated when we not only have brains that think, but hearts that think too? Maybe yes. Maybe not. Both my heart and brain refuse to give a definite answer.

Up until the last days of our lives- pretencious beings. The old man in his deathbed screams, "I don't want to go because I haven't known a lot of things yet. Can I have answers?" His life whisked away. No answers.

Maybe just follow our eyes. The eyes deceive too, you say? So what is real and what is not?

Fantasy is built on pretences. Create your own answers. Your Creations. Answers to the secrets of the heart. Breathe and live Fantasy. For every question, give it your own answer. Who is to say your answer may not be correct?

Words seek to derail thoughts. Pretence is an intrinsically negative word.

We are pretencious. But we fly on wings of Fantasy too.

I won't ever understand. And I am afraid.

Fireworks Of Life

"You've led me to think as I've thought several times before, when you asked, "Is it worthwhile to die in this manner?"

Lives lost to military training/exercises, in the name of defense of a country.

A crazy world of countries saying to each other, "How do my defense measure up against your defense? I have XXX number of warheads vs your XXX number of warheads!"

A spark occurs. A small conflict of ideas. Defense turns into Offense in a flash.

All the Defense expended at once in a beautiful but mind-boggling display of fireworks.

And you call that the Fireworks of Life?

So what do you mean by Defense of a country? What is Defense? Defense and Offense may merely be relative terms. They mean the same thing."

I wrote the above in a notebook when I was about 15... 17? If a 17yr-old kid could understand the above, the true nature of what you deemed Defense. I don't get how everyone in this world could not see this very thin line humanity treads on currently. Of course, everything is more complicated. Have to be made more complicated.

To the North Korean missile test crisis.

How I Wrote Elastic Man

"But in the town
They'll stop me in the shoppes
Verily they'll track me down
Touch my shoulder and ignore my dumb mission
And sick red faced smile
And they will ask me
And they will ask me
How I wrote 'Elastic Man'"

- The Fall Mark. E. Smith

Fraggle Rock

I always stood by the tv to catch every single episode of this Jim Henson's muppet show when I was a kid. Fraggle Rock was fun to watch yet profound, in a way, too because it contemplated on serious themes such as Death, Mortality, Discrimination. They don't make kid-tv like these anymore. =) These brought back much memories.


Sunlight and Shadow - Mokey sings of freedom when she was caught and caged up.

Sunlight and shadow,
And oak trees, bravado,
And rivers that race to the sea.
Puff balls, fireflies,
And larks in the sunrise,
All know a way to be free.
And here's to their roamin',
Here's to their homin',
Ah, how I wish it was me.
Pity a soul that's not free.

Ants have a highway,
And birds have a skyway,
And winds can go wandering far.
See how they climb,
In the mercy of time and,
They don't know how lucky they are.
And here's to their roamin',
Here's to their homin',
Ah, but I wish it was me.
Sit for a moment and pity a soul that's not free.


Free and High - Wembley takes to the sky. My favourite fraggle- He's a laid-back coward, much like me.


Friendship Song - Boober and Red were trapped in a poison cave. They were terrified that they were going to die but cling on to friendship for support.